


OctoChat Traveler (Help)

by SlimeLime



Category: Octopath Traveler (Video Game)
Genre: (Almost) No One Is Straight, (also weed), (its juuls), Absolute Chaos. Anyway, Alternate Universe - College/University, Assorted Crimes, Chatting & Messaging, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, F/F, Kinda, Lots of Cursing, M/M, OOC, This Was Mostly Written At 1 AM And It Shows, Trans Characters, almost everyone really - Freeform, autistic characters, brief angst, haanit doesnt speak in old english because i cant do it i cant im not strong enough, mild drug use
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:34:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 7,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23556133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlimeLime/pseuds/SlimeLime
Summary: Wozwald: theyr all dumbasses if I wear a vapers rights shirt they'll never suspect a thingAlfOnTheShalf: therion i love uWozwald: thank you I am very sexy and epic
Relationships: Alfyn Greengrass/Therion, Alfyn Greengrass/Zeph, Cyrus Albright/Olberic Eisenberg, Primrose Azelhart/Yusufa
Comments: 11
Kudos: 42





	1. Please Send Help

**Author's Note:**

> hey this the first fanfic ive ever written. anyway,  
> TressaCalzone: Tressa  
> Wozwald: Therion  
> AlfOnTheShalf: Alfyn  
> DickInABook: Cyrus  
> Oldberic: Olberic  
> CatGal: H'aanit  
> TheFinalPrim: Primrose  
> PhiliOs: Ophilia  
> Windy: Zeph  
> TrueBlue: Yusufa  
> TakeMeToChurc: Lianna  
> Kitty: Kit

Bastard Squad

TressaCalzone: do we have homework for mr Albright's class

Wozwald: what kinda idot does homework

AlfOnTheShalf: we dont I think

TressaCalzone: you are not a reliable resource

AlfOnTheShalf: why?? Because I smoke weed??

Wozwald: no but u are a himbo tho

AlfOnTheShalf: this is bullying

TressaCalzone: fuckit I'm gonna ask him myself

Wozwald: nerd

\---  
Teachers Lounge

DickInABook: should I assign homework tomorrow?

Oldberic: why are you asking us, that's for you to decide

DickInABook: yes but break is coming up so soon… I have a few extra credit assignments I wanted to give out then, so should I be giving out homework?

CatGal: I would say that is still up to you to decide. I have opted not to, but as a Weight Training teacher, I hardly have any need to give out homework.

CatGal: I would say that the break should not change what you do as of now though.

DickInABook: thank you for your input haanit

CatGal: It is my pleasure to be of assistance. Also, who nicknamed you that? It seems a bit… inappropriate.

DickInABook: Oh, it's my own name! My middle name is Richard, so my parents sometimes called me 'Dick', and I'm always reading so…

DickInABook: I thought it was fitting!

Oldberic: okay then…

\---  
Assistants lounge

TheFinalPrim: legit tho are yall prepared for the club meeting

PhiliOs: I'm ready! Remind me who's coming?

TheFinalPrim: uhhh lemme think

TheFinalPrim: its gonna b ours, the drama club, the medpol club, the gsa, the gardening club and book club

TheFinalPrim: wait no creative writing and art will be there too

Windy: there really arent that many clubs huh??

PhiliOs: it's a rather small school, so I think that's to be expected

PhiliOs: and pardon me for asking, but what is medpol?

Windy: it's basically intro to socialism lol

PhiliOs: ???

Windy: its based around sustainable living and stuff I think, like growing your own food, making your own soap, growing diverse lawns rather than just grass, how to donate, etc.

Windy: it's called med pol bc alf started it to talk abt the problems with our healthcare system, and kinda… branched out

PhiliOs: oh your boyfriend's in charge of it? I cant believe I didn't know!

Windy: you haven't met him that much, and it's kinda one of the smaller clubs

TheFinalPrim: a fun note is that a venn diagram of the gsa and that clubs members is pretty much a circle

Windy: gay socialists

PhiliOs: I should have more time with break coming up, so I'll try to check those clubs out!

\---  
Bastard Squad

TheFinalPrim: yall are coming to the meeting rite.

Wozwald: hrrrrrn

TheFinalPrim: *knife emoji*

TheFinalPrim: motherfucker you are in charge of the gsa

Wozwald: couldn't be me. I'm not gay

AlfOnTheShalf: you just kissed me on the dang lips

Wozwald: that was a friend thing

TressaCalzone: we should've known

TressaCalzone: I mean, what self respecting gay man would wear a crop top that says GAY in rainbow colors

TressaCalzone: and a heart necklace that connects with two others to say we are gay

Wozwald: all of them

TheFinalPrim: so you are gay

Wozwald: dammit my secret is out

TrueBlue: I'm not the leader of a club, but I am in drama

TrueBlue: should I attend?

TheFinalPrim: if u want to lol. It's mostly a status update and clubs communicating abt schedules n stuff

TrueBlue: I'll be there then! I have homework, so ttyl ^3^

TheFinalPrim: love u

TrueBlue: love you too! *smooch*<3

TheFinalPrim: oh no my gay heart cant take it

TrueBlue: lol.

Windy: Where Is My Boyfriend I Want Kisses

Wozwald: I want Kisses too

Windy: YOU JUST KISSED HIM DJAJ XHDJSN

AlfOnTheShalf: I can kiss both of u!!!

Wozwald: but we are in different rooms

AlfOnTheShalf: then move

Wozwald: no u

TressaCalzone: I wamt a phucking gf to hold and kiss me. I big angy

Windy: jxhsijsbxhsjaoaka w

Windy: alf came in an

Windy: carrying theriob

PhiliOs: aw how sweet!

TakeMeToChurc: I wish that was me

PhiliOs: you'll find a gf in no time Anna

TakeMeToChurc: but I want one now

PhiliOs: you will have to wait then

Kitty: you are so mean to your sister Ophilia ):

PhiliOs: I only speak the truth

Wozwald: savage. I just came back from getting big gay smooches on my forehead, cant relate

Windy: I also cant relate lol

Wozwald: bro I know we just kissed but what if i were a sajrk and you held my fin like and hand and

Wozwald: I dont know where I'm going with this

Tressa Calzone: I can decide what I like more. You calling your bf bro, what if I were a shark, or sajrk

AlfOnTheShalf: I

AlfOnTheShalf: what

Wozwald: I saw a video of a human swimming by a shark and I think they were tagging it but they held the sharks din and I remembered how you showed me nature doxumenttatus when we were  
first dating and I really liked that intimacy a d in find the oceans really calming and it was very nice and I was t hi inking anton t and I got sad but also happy

Wozwald: and what if I was a shark. Thad be pretty cool on it's own

AlfOnTheShalf: I'm not sure how to respond?

AlfOnTheShalf: but I'm very happy that you have such good memories with me and you found something that reminded you of them

AlfOnTheShalf: why sad tho?

Wozwald: I think it's just the autism messing with my emotional processing. I have trouble with even happy memories if they have like. Certain music it makes me feel really extreme sometimes and  
like. I get sad 4 sm reason

Wozwald: so like it's a good memory both the music makes me hhhhhhhhh

TressaCalzone: damn I wasn't prepared for enotoins

TheFinalPrim: Enotoins

TressaCalzone: FUCK YOU I CSNT SPLERL

TressaCalzone: FUCK

Wozwald: splerl.

Tressa Calzone: YOURE ALL BULLYING ME. IM BABY

Windy: I'm fucking. Going sleep

TheFinalPrim: *Danny phantom voice* IM GOING SLEEP

TrueBlue: aeshdjxinfk


	2. Vapers Rights I Guess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is where shit started getting good and also weird imo

Emails  
Lucia@racc.net: Hello all, headmaster Yvon asked me to make the following announcement: The school is currently looking into the disappearance and suspected theft of juul pods occurring on campus. Though drugs of any kind, recreational or prescribed, are not allowed on campus during school hours without special permissions, we do not tolerate thefts. If that is the reason behind the widespread disappearances, the perpetrator will be punished. As a reminder, if any information comes up, please report it to a teacher, TA, me, or the headmaster. That aside, all other activities will continue as planned. The final sports matches and band performances will happen on the last day of school before spring break, March 20, and during the break there will be school fundraising events occurring on the 27 through 29. That is all.  
\---  
Bastard Squad

Wozwald: they finally acknowledges rhe fact ik stealing juul pods lol

PhiliOs: why

Wozwald: for fun

AlfOnTheShalf: theri you dont even vape

Wozwald: yes but the ppl I steal from do

TheFinalPrim: what do u have against vapers tho

Wozwald: they r all obnoxious, also a lot of them misgendered me so they all have to suffer

AlfOnTheShalf: won't they suspect its you though??

Wozwald: theyr all dumbasses if I wear a vapers rights shirt they'll never suspect a thing

AlfOnTheShalf: therion I love u

Wozwald: thank you I am very sexy and epic

AlfOnTheShalf: heck yeah self love  
\---

Clubs Chat

P.Azelhart: hi everyone! This chat consists of the leaders of each club at our school. While I would like to keep it to the leaders to prevent too much clutter, we can create a secondary chat for other  
members if enough people feel that it would be necessary.

P.Azelhart: the purpose of this chat is mainly to prevent scheduling conflicts between club events. And just so everyone is clear, I will be listing the clubs and their leaders now

P.Azelhart: TA club: Primrose Azelheart  
Drama Club: Lianna Clement  
Medical Politics Club: Alfyn Greengrass  
Gender Sexuality Alliance: Therion Albright  
Gardening Club: Zeph West  
Book Club: Mercedes Benn  
Creative Writing Club: Cordelia Ravus  
Art Club: Tressa Colzione

P.Azelhart: that should cover it! Feel free to change your nicknames by the way, but please try to keep them school appropriate

-T.Albright changed their nickname to Vapers Rights-

Vapers Rights: nice

C.Ravus: give me back my juul

Vapers Rights: I dont have it

Vapers Rights: wait you vape

-C.Ravus changed their name to CORDELIA WANTS HER JUUL-

CORDELIA WANTS HER JUUL: I DONT EIGHT NOW BC U STOLE IT

-T.Colzione changed their name to Medium Chicken Dinner-

Medium Chicken Dinner: drama already lol

P.Azelhart: also swearing gets you kicked.

-Z.West changed their name to Plants r Gay-

Plants r Gay: he doesnt have ur juul I would know he pretty much lives in alfs house

A.Greengrass: as do you, and neither of us gave seen it around

A.Greengrass: and even if he had it on him it probably would have popped when we hugged him at some point

M.Benn: I dont think that's how juuls work though? I could be wrong…

A.Greengrass: tbh I've never seen a juul in my life so I wouldn't know

P.Azelhart: sorry for getting off topic but why do I hear caramelldansen

Vapers Rights: alf got his t prescription renewed and were celebrating

P.Azelhart: can you do that without inciting a noise complaint

Plants r Gay: no

CORDELIA WANTS HER JUUL: Holy shit I can hear it too where is that coming from

Medium Chicken Dinner: it's coming dftnrm

Medium Chicken Dinner: THEYRE PLAYINGNCARAMELDEAMSEDN IN THE FUKCING SCHHOL GREENGOUSE OH MY GOD.

Medium Chicken Dinner: THE PLANTS R JUST JAMMIN IN THERE LOL  
\---  
Private message - Cyrus / Olberic

Cyrus: honey, should we report the juul theft?

Cyrus: I know therion is our child, but…

Cyrus: it seems unethical to let this continue

Olberic: cyrus I love you

Olberic: but if I catch another student vaping in the bathroom I'm quite honestly going to go apeshit.

Olberic: maybe this will stop then from bringing their juuls into school. Probably not.

Olberic: though miss Ravus might be a problem, as she suspects Therion. Of stealing hers. I have no way to confirm or deny that

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had 2 come up with last names for these assholes augghhhh


	3. FIGHT FIGHT FIGhT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i have nothing to say about this mess

Bastard Squad

TrueBlue: hey guys yall knwo where therion is

AlfOnTheShalf: not right now no

AlfOnTheShalf: why??

TrueBlue: cus I saw a dude fighting a butler and it looked like therion

TrueBlue: wasn't sure tho lol

Windy: wait who looked like therion the dude or the butler

AlfOnTheShalf: HE WH

TrueBlue: the dude lol

AlfOnTheShalf: hi it's me zeph alf just fucking took off

AlfOnTheShalf: like fukin woosh. Also he left his phone here lol.

AlfOnTheShalf: time to change his background~

TheFinalPrim: I

TheFinalPrim: alf just joined in the fight

TheFinalPrim: it's a fucking fistfight. 2 on 1

TheFinalPrim: O SHIT IS THAT CORDELIA

TheFinalPrim: OH MY GOD IT TOTALLY IS DHISK

TheFinalPrim: FUCKING FRESHMEN

AlfOnTheShalf: this has gotten super fucking bonkers REAL QUICK

TressaCalzone: hmmm none of my business

TrueBlue: wait holy shit

TrueBlue: theres a fucking CROWD

TrueBlue: THERION AND ALF ARE FIFHTING THIS OLD ASS DUDE AND PRIMROSE IS JSUR. JSUT GOING FOR CORDELIA.

TrueBlue: _HOLY FUCK PEOPLE ARE BETTING HDISLMS_

TressaCalzone: it is now my business

AlfOnTheShalf: tressa no-

TakeMeToChurc: what is. What

TakeMeToChurc: holy flame, olberic just came out, stared, SIGHED, AND WENT BACK INSIDE

TakeMeToChurc: OH MY GOD THIS IS CHAOTIC

TakeMeToChurc: MISS HAANIT IS JUST. SITTING THERE WATCHIGB

AlfOnTheShalf: haanit be like I do not see it-

PhiliOs: zeph, why arent you using your own account?! OR TRYING TO BREAK UP THE FIGHT?!?!

AlfOnTheShalf: o shit ur right

TrueBlue: holy crap zeph can run fast

PhiliOs: **_THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT_** -  
\---

Bastard Squad

Kitty: how t

Kitty: how the fuck are none of you like. Expelled. For this shit.

Kitty: zeph fucking jump kicked a dude. Like holy shit

Wozwald: first of all, tuition costs a lot, and they wanna milk us dry

AlfOnTheShalf: please never say that about this school again.

AlfOnTheShalf: anyways, cordelias p rich, and since heathcote or whoever's the fuck technically attacked therion

AlfOnTheShalf: I think they bribed the school to overlook it. Also primrose won and told cordelia to not talk about it because otherwise their families would be at war or some shit

Windy: I think it was melodramatic but still… holy shit prim

TheFinalPrim: lol

PhiliOs: please remember that I love you all dearly. In the time we have been together, you have grown to be like family to me.

PhiliOs: but I am deeply ashamed of all of you

TrueBlue: I'm not

TrueBlue: my gf fucking WON that shit

TheFinalPrim: cordelia went fucking rabid tho. Completely unhinged. It was fucking wild

TressaCalzone: xbuajzbxjak

TressaCalzone: jsyk I did make a jice sum of money off pols bets

Wozwald: jice

TressaCalzone: fuck you. No cut for you.

Wozwald: whatever

TressaCalzone: oh yeah alf u got ur phone back right?

AlfOnTheShalf: yup lol

Windy: and uve been using this chat the whole time… smh my head

AlfOnTheShalf: what????

Windy: smh my head…

AlfOnTheShalf: ZEPH WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN  
\---

AlfOnTheShalf: WHY IS MY BACKGROUND FUCKING **_GOKU ON MACARONI_** -


	4. ConsequencesTM

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oops! emotion time  
> also  
> SantaWithAZ: Z'aanta  
> OdeToMe: Odette

Lucia@racc.net: I didn't think this was an announcement that was necessary to make, seeing as most of you are legal adults, but please refrain from fighting on campus. While we would prefer our student body not get into any illegal activities at any time, on campus or off, we would advise against anything of the sort during school hours even more so. After this incident, there will be harsher policies in place, enforced by the security officers, as well as teachers including Haanit, Zaanta and Olberic. This ends this announcement.  
\---

Teachers Lounge

DickInABook: Sorry, as I was absent Friday of last week, I missed the debacle that sparked the announcement that Lucia has sent to us. 

SantaWithAZ: holy shit dude

SantaWithAZ: ur fucking son was fighting a butler and he didnt tell u???

DickInABook: Therion was WHAT

CatGal: I unfortunately cannot inform you of any details, as I was not present then. 

SantaWithAZ: HAANIT U WERE LITERALLY THERE

DickInABook: @Oldberic @Oldberic @Oldberic WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME

Oldberic: he didnt start it and he won. It was a non issue

OdeToMe: @CatGal, queen of staying in her lane

OdeToMe: also tbf olberic Saw What Was Happening and said No Thank You.

OdeToMe: but yes Cyrus, Cordelia Ravus sent her butler to attack? Assault? I have no clue honestly, but he ended up in a fight with your son and his boyfriends.

DickInABook: ALF AND ZEPH WERE THERE?!?!?

OdeToMe: yes, and his friend Primrose also fought with Cordelia.

DickInABook: WHAT TBE FUCK

OdeToMe: that's a mood  
\---

Private Message - Cyrus/Olberic

Cyrus: I would rather have this talk in person, but I want to say these things before they leave me

Cyrus: im… upset, with how the situation today went down

Cyrus: it was rather distressing to hear that my son was involved in a fight, especially with someone older than him

Cyrus: I know you haven't known him as long, but… I dont quite know what to say. With his past, I am… often worried for him. Maybe more than I should be sometimes.

Cyrus: but… the way you acted so callously, it hurt a bit. I know it was chaotic, and rather funny in the end but… I just.

Cyrus: I dont know. I know it's not true but it makes a part of me think you dont care.

Olberic: oh cyrus

Olberic: I'm sorry. I understand why you feel that way, and looking back, I acted… badly in the situation.

Olberic: and this is no excuse, but I thought therion would not have wanted me to tell you. I should have communicated with you though, and you shouldn't have found out in the way you did. I'm truly   
sorry

Olberic: I hope I can do better, not just for you, but for therion as well

Olberic: and thank you so much for telling me. I'm happy you trust me to improve from this, and I love you.

Cyrus: I love you too, olberic

Olberic: and dont forget to eat lunch

Cyrus: I uh. Left my money at home.

Olberic: well, that just means you'll have to share mine, right?

Cyrus: of course ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everytime i think of this chapter i have no clue whether to be dissapointed or proud of myself  
> and everytime we kiss i swear i can fly


	5. Drama ZoneTM

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Idk what to say about this.

Wozwald: my father's r disappointed in me

PhiliOs: sounds about right

TheFinalPrim: ye

TressaCalzone: therion there are a lot of reasons to be disappointed in u as a person but why this

TressaCalzone: y didnt even start the fight

Wozwald: stealing juuls and trying to kick an old man's face in after calling him a boomer do not count as appropriate behavior or whatever

Windy: heathcoat is a boomer huh *thinking emoji*

AlfOnTheShalf: tbh j think olberic beef is that u might've gotten caught stealing juuls

TheFinalPrim: o yea lol

TheFinalPrim: I ta 4 him and at one point he put his face in his hands and asked why kids were juuling in the bathrooms. I was gonna answer him with the obvious like

TheFinalPrim: they dont wanna get caught but then he was just. I wanna take a fucking piss and instead get sent forcefully into the godsdamn moors or some shit

TheFinalPrim: so I'm thinking he saw it as a positive lol

AlfOnTheShalf: LetOlbericPiss2020

Wozwald: wait u ta for my dad????

TheFinalPrim: yeah I'm your older sister now

Wozwald: ??? Sorry I'm stuck on u being a ta for the fencing teacher??? Why???? Do you even like fencing???

TheFinalPrim: idk but its Rich Ppl Shit (™) so my dads like prim u gotta. U gotta.  
AlfOnTheShalf: wild 

AlfOnTheShalf: anyway time to get into thr Drama Zone™ 

Ali: sorry I'm new but what the fuck is that

Wozwald: no nickname. What a hetero

Ali: listen I may be straight but is there no trans solidarity 

Wozwald: theres nothing in the Drama Zone™ 

Ali: that. Answers something but brings up more questions

TheFinalPrim: The Drama Zone™ cannot be defined so simply

PhiliOs: The Drama Zone™ is tricky like that. 

Ali: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ALL TALKING ABOUT

TrueBlue: you can only understand through witnessing it.

TrueBlue: the Drama Zone™.

Ali: WHY THE FUCK DO ALL OF YOU CALL JR THAT ANSERE MY QUESTION 

Kitty: alf drinks as much tea as he can without destroying his bladder then takes an eight minute power nap and help the Drama club. For some reason, Weird Shit happens every fucking time. We dont know why. We call that the Drama Zone™ 

Ali: THANK YOU

TressaCalzone: oh yeah last time it was arson right

Wozwald: no ur thinking of little shop of horrors. Last time was phantom of the opera

TressaCalzone: oh ok. I think I blocked that out of my memory

Ali: what.

Ali: I thought I knew wtf yall were talking about but holy shit.

Ali: @AlfOnTheShalf what the fuck is happening 

AlfOnTheShalf: I mean, the most recent was technically wicked, and that was p tame

AlfOnTheShalf: I was taking my t and they thought it was drugs or some shit

Wozwald: ily but why were you taking t at fucking school what the fuck. 

Wozwald: that's worse than arson u nasty 

Windy: ur just saying that because you've committed arson

Wozwald: THE FIRST TIME WAS AN ACCIDENT

Windy: was tho???? Fucking was it therion???

Windy: and dont get me started on the second, third, fourth, etc. Times!! Were those not??

Wozwald: u gotta admit miguel kinda deserved that

TheFinalPrim: I mean like. He did.

PhiliOs: we shouldn't endorse crimes but I must agree that Miguel was

PhiliOs: in a word, awful

TakeMeToChurc: I wasn't there for that, but from what I heard, i must agree

TakeMeToChurc: also, where is alf? It feels odd to talk about this without him around…

PhiliOs: Drama Zome™ 

TakeMeToChurc: oh ok

Windy: what about the fourth time therion.

Wozwald: oh yeah that was just for fun lol.

Windy: EXPLAIN WHAT IS FUN ABOUT BURNING DOWN AN OLD, SHITTY, ABANDONED SEVEN ELEVEN

Wozwald: you wouldnt get it

Ali: I hate learning I hate knowledge I'm going to crawl into a hole where neither sound nor light can penetrate

TheFinalPrim: big fucking mood

TressaCalzone: I know for a fact ur studying so i cant tell what ur responding 2 lol

Ali: originally just studying!! But back reading I wish I never learned this shit abt u ppl

Ali: hate how more than 1 person in this chat hhs committed arson. And how therion has apparantly done it multiple times

Wozwald: seven right now. And as a trans person, it is my right to commit arson.

Wozwald: same with my dad, cyrus and my boyfriend, alf.

Wozwalf: olberic hasn't yet but I hope he will in time :)

Ali: mr albright committed arson!?

PhiliOs: you want. You want mr. Esienberg to commit arson

Wozwald: yes to both :)

Wozwald: and ali, haven't u ever wondered what happened to that "abandoned" room :)?

Ali: NO AND I DONT WANT TO KNOW

TressaCalzone: idk what's more threatening. The quotes or the emojis

Wozwald: let's just say it was abandoned for a reason ;)

Ali: UM

TressaCalzone: ok so its definitely the emojis

Wozwald: ;) ;) ;)

TrueBlue: wait holy shit

Kitty: hi I was gone for a day and this shit happens what the fuck

TrueBlue: Cyrus is dating Olberic?!

VroomVroom: technically no, they're married

Windy: hi mercedes!

VroomVroom: hey zeph :) thank u for the invite!

Windy: mybpleaserue

TressaCalzone: um. Whomst

Windy: my ex

VroomVroom: were just friends now and he offered to introduce me to you all!

TheFinalPrim: oh yea I remember

TheFinalPrim: what happened?? U 2 seems happy together

VroomVroom: ehh. It was a p chill breakup, zeph was talking about being poly and i didnt know if i wanted 2 b in a relationship like that and i was moving so we would have 2 b long distance. It was just 2 much at the time, and when I came back I felt like I was happy jus being friends

VroomVroom: ooogh that was longe

Wozwald: as th libaby assistance I thot us have better tyoing 

VroomVroom: …

VroomVroom: …libaby… 

Wozwald: yeah that's fair.

VroomVroom: anyway, how's alf doing?

VroomVroom: aside from getting into a fight with some random butler lol

Windy: hes been on t a while and he says it's doing wonders 4 his dysphoria

Wozwald: hes very gay and I love him

Windy: same^

VroomVroom: good to hear hes doing well. Aside from… whatever the fuck Drama Zone is

Wozwald: Drama Zone™. Its trademarked

VroomVroom: no it isnt

Windy: she got us there :/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ley olberic piss 2020


	6. oh my god

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i accidentally deleted this chapter and had a fucking panic attack and then was able to restore it on google docs. (u can press the arrw next to a verion to show more detailed versions 2 restore). anyway, i dont know shit about theaters, PLEASE suspend your disbelief here

Email  
Lucia@racc.net: I would like to announce that the before break performances will not be occurring this year due to accidental damage done to the theater building. No one was injured, but the area will have to be rebuilt. This will likely take the entire break if not more, so there will be no shows during this timeframe. Any shows interrupted by this delay will still occur, though no official dates have been set. Another consequence is that a new inside location will have to be devised for the fundraisers. The primary location will still be outside on the field, but look out for updates on the secondary location. That is all for now.  
\---  
Wozwald: yall see the announcement

TakeMeToChurc: yeah :(

TrueBlue: ugh and we worked so hard on that… the damage was an accident so no blame tbh but

TrueBlue: some of our props were damaged. And we dunno if they can be repaired

Wozwald: I know u r vewy vewy religuous lianna but

Wozwald: and I know it's a sin, BUT

Wozwald: I could steal some 4 u

TrueBlue: nahh well just ask th school to put it on the agenda 4 fundraising

TrueBlue: if u really wanted to help just donate some baked goods

Wozwald: o shit! Brownie time

TheFinalPrim: yr brownies fucking slap hell ueah

Windy: put werd

TakeMeToChurc: NO

Windy: fuck *weed

Windy: oh ok

Windy: but they'd be baked goods

TakeMeToChurc: ):<

TakeMeToChurc: but tbh… aside from the damage, it's kinda funny?

TakeMeToChurc: like. We dunno who caused it cuz the school won't tell but.

TakeMeToChurc: from what we can tell, what happened was that a dude?? Walking through a wall?

TrueBlue: like, first of all, hes ripped as shit, so take note of that-

TakeMeToChurc: and that lead to how the props got damaged-

TrueBlue: so u know how theaters can have like, false floors and stuff so ppl can go up or down all dramatically

Kitty: I dont like where this is going

TressaCalzone: go on

TrueBlue: so we have like, all the normal mechanisms and shit

TakeMeToChurc: get this, there was a secret mechanism. In. The. Wall.

Wozwald: WHY THE FUCK

TakeMeToChurc: We we wondering that too!!! So we asked around, and the general consensus was that the walls were made hollow

TakeMeToChurc: but with fairly sturdy wood, and this mechanism had some sort of fault in it?

TrueBlue: so basically, what we think happened is it wasn't working quite right (and the way the false floor fell… yeah probably)

TrueBlue: so they just made a new one and stuck it IN THE WALL

Wozwald: DJWUZVGDHSJAJA

Wozwald: TBH ID DO THAT

Wozwald: SHJSKNZHHS THATS SO MUCH

PhiliOs: I'm just happy no ones hurt… and if you want, I'd love to help with fundraising!

TakeMeToChurc: thank u sis

PhiliOs: ur welcome!!

Wozwald: hey if u made an apple pie

Wozwald: with thos lil apple rabbits

Wozwald: If pay u a million dollars

PhiliOs: that's a great idea!! I'll see if I can do that! Thank you therion

Wozwald: no problem <3 (no hetero)

Windy: no hetero nshejabzdja

Windy: wait where were u ophilia

PhiliOs: taking care of the plants in the greenhouse

PhiliOs: alf asked me to do it because I was heading by it on the way to the library and he promised to help the Drama club

Windy: …

Wozwald: …

Windy: @AlfOnTheShalf @AlfOnTheShalf @AlfOnTheShalf @AlfOnTheShalf

TrueBlue: WHY ARE YOU SPAMING HIM

Wozwald: when's the last time u saw alf

TrueBlue: setting up near the teachers office in the theater

Wozwald: where did they say the hole was?

TrueBlue: right by the

TrueBlue: office

TressaCalzone: I could FEEL that pause

Wozwald: how ripped is alf?

TrueBlue: .

Kitty: @TakeMeToChurc u ok

TakeMeToChurc: I

AlfOnTheShalf: whaddya want zeph?

Windy: DID YOU SMASH A HOLE THROUGH THE THEATER OFFICE WITH YOUR HUGE MEAT MUSCLES

AlfOnTheShalf: I

Wozwald:BFHSKSNDH THE TIMING

-AlfOnTheShalf changed their nickname to AbsoluteUnit-

AbsoluteUnit: yeah

Wozwald: IM SCREAMIGNGGGGG

TheFinalPrim: I CAN FUCKING HEWR HIM SOMEONE GO SHUT HIM UPPPP

Windy: THERION IS AT HOME

Windy: WHY ARE YOU IN MY BOYFRIENDS H O M E

TheFinalPrim: ARE YOU IMPYLING IM A HOMEWRECKER??? EVEN IF I WAS, I AHVE STANDARDS

Windy: AND I DONT?!?

TheFinalPrim: WELL 1 IM A LESBIAN, AND TWO IM HERE CUZ I KEFT MY FUCKING ESTROGEN HERE!

Windy: WHY DID YOU BRING YOUR ESTROGENATO HIS HOUSE

TressaCalzone: WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THEBSOUP STORE

TheFinalPrim: I DIDNT WANT TO FORGET TO TAKE IT!!! I WAS CIMING OVER WHNE I TAKE MY MEDS AND I BROUGHT IT ALONG AND THEN FORGOT IT!!

Windy: ok, fair

Windy: wait if ur there why are you asking US to shut him up?! Do it yourself!!

Ali: IM SORRY WE ARENT ACKNOWLEDGONG THE FACT THAT ALF BUSTED THROUGHT A WALL LIKE A LOW BUDGET KOOL AID MAN

Ali: AND ALSO NAMED HIMSELF ABSOLUTE UNIT IN ACKNOWLEGEMENT?!

Wozwald: that's old news now

AbsoluteUnit: that's just what taking t is like

AbsoluteUnit: u better be prepared @Ali

PhiliOs: Anna's just staring at her computer screen like 0_0

Wozwald: shes the only valid person in this chat

Wozwald: wait, no, u, her and primrose are valid

Wozwald: even if she might try to smother me shes valid uwu

Windy: what about mercedes

Wozwald: idk honestly, she very well could be, but I haven't gotten enough vibes from her to say

VroomVroom: awe, thanks you guys!

VroomVroom: though the bar isnt that high from what I've seen!

Wozwald: god damn I am getting roasted by women today

TressaCalzone: happy international womans day.

TressaCalzone: get his ass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me at the fic i posted: oh boy cant wait for them to update :)
> 
> also i just realized that yeah, this takes place on the same day as the last chapter, so women have really been taking the piss out of therion for an entire day.


	7. amimal cwossign

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is funny but also a way to get the next chapter which is mega cursed lol

Wozwald: wait i realized something important about yesterday

PhiliOs: you mean the thing where alf walked through a wall? Do tell.

Wozwald: he walded through the office wall

TressaCalzone: walded lol

Wozwald: NO BUT THATS MEANS HE ENEDED UP IN THE OFFICE

Wozwald: HE HAD TO EXPLAIN HIMSELF TO A TEACHER

Wozwald: WAIT WIAT WAIT

Wozwald: WE NEVER ESYAVLEISHED 

Wozwald:@AbsluteUnit WHY THE FUCK DID YOU WALK THROUGH A GODSDAMNED  **_WALL_ **

AbsoluteUnit: I missed the door

Windy: sure. Why not

Windy: how.

AbsoluteUnit: ok so first of all the theaters really fucked up

Windy: no shit someone walked thru a fucking wall

AbsoluteUnit: but also before that. So theres this one door that doesn't have a knob

Wozwald: I hate it 

AbsoluteUnit: yeah, right?? And it doesnt have a very big gap, so u basically have to tackle it to get in

PhiliOs: oh no ):

Windy: as the kool aisle man would say, OOHH YEAHHHHH

Wozwald: KOOL AIDLE MAM

AbsoluteUnit: so the gap is small. And hard to see. And I'm not familiar with the layout 

AbsoluteUnit: so

AbsoluteUnit: yeah

Wozwald: what. Did. You. Say. To. The. Teachers.

AbsoluteUnit: so ice been playing animal crossing for the past… while

Wozwald: so have I and I haven't walked thru any fuckin walls lately

AbsoluteUnit: no but for what I told them

AbsoluteUnit: yknow how u can like. Eat fruit to break rocks or whatever the fuck

AbsoluteUnit: ate too much fruit

Wozwald: THATS WHAT YOY WNET WITH

AbsoluteUnit: tbf the teachers left rite after to check on the students so like

AbsoluteUnit: ¯\\_ (ツ)_/¯

Windy: speaking of aminal crossing

Windy: I'm gay

TrueBlue: what

Windy: you interrupted me. As I was saying

Windy: I'm gay

Windy: and I play animal crossing

Windy: fish

AbsoluteUnit: that's it. That's animal cross

Wozwald: animal crobbs

AbsoluteUnit: mamal cribs

Wozwald: manual crispy

AbsoluteUnit: mingus cringus

TressaCalzone: no. Stop. Bad

Wozwald: …

Wozwald: mingle crust

TressaCalzone: perish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> animal crossing new horizons


	8. oreos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> one of the jokes i have with a friend that is funny but also... bad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> quick warnign i guess? at one point a transmascs charas chest is called tits, not in like a menspirited way, but like if that makes u uncomfy... u cld skip i guess? stay safe lol (im transmasc btw)

Bastard Squad

TheFinalPrim: I fucking love gun and shit but jesus it slaps my energy

TressaCalzone: gun?????

TheFinalPrim: gym I fucked up

TheFinalPrim: but yeah I had breakfast n everything it feels like I'm gonna pass out

AbsoluteUnit: why dont u pack some snacks?

TheFinalPrim: I would but like. Dont have a good place for em

TheFinalPrim: my skirts have 0 pockets and my backpack is full of garbage

TheFinalPrim: they'd get crushed in there ):

Wozwald: you have boobs

TheFinalPrim: what

TheFinalPrim: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUGGESTING??

TheFinalPrim: DO YOU WANT ME TO MILK MYSELF??? WHAT

Wozwald: no! All I'm saying is u can put snacks in ur bra. But like only a sports bra

TheFinalPrim: I have no words

Wozwald: u prob wear one for gym rite. Use that one

AbsoluteUnit: therion I love you but WHAT THE FUCK

AbsoluteUnit: WHY WOULD YOU EVEN  _ SUGGEST  _ SOMETHING LIKE THAT

AbsoluteUnit: DISGUSTING???

Wozwald: idk what ur guys problem is I do ot all the time

Kitty: I hate this chat I hate this chat I hate this chat 

TheFinalPrim: WHAT DO YOU  _ MEAN  _ YOU DO IT ALL THE TIME

Wozwald: I put my oreos there!!!

TheFinalPrim: NO THE FUCK YOU DONT

TheFinalPrim: I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING EVEN  _ REMOTELY RESEMBLEING A FUCKING PACK OF OREOS IN YOUR BRA OR BINDER  _

Wozwald: I dont put the who pack in there!!! I take em out first

AbsoluteUnit: you

AbsoluteUnit: WHAT

AbsoluteUnit: SO

AbsoluteUnit: WHAT YOU ARE TELLING ME

AbsoluteUnit: ME, YOUR BOYFRIEND OF WHAT, TWO- ALMOST THREE YEARS

AbsoluteUnit: IS THAT YOU KEEP

AbsoluteUnit: LOOSE

AbsoluteUnit:  _ FUCKING _

AbsoluteUnit:  **_OREOS_ **

Ali: what the fuck are we screaming about today

AbsoluteUnit: IN YOUR GODDAMN  _ TITS???? _

Wozwald: YES!!!

AbsoluteUnit: I LOVE YOU BUT THGA IS GROSS THERION

Ali: hmm okay.

Ali: I'm going now

TrueBlue: damn shits wild

TheFinalPrim: I dont think I can ever emotionally recover from this revelation

TheFinalPrim: like. Where the fuck am I supposed to go from here???

TheFinalPrim: us this rock bottom and I can only go up???

TheFinalPrim: or is this the tipping point, the end of good things in my life???

TheFinalPrim: I have no fucking clue anymore

Windy: hi so like I'm going over to talk to therion about our group project for history and uh

Windy: can someone tell me why he is taking oreos out of his bra. Like. What's up with that

Windy: anyway how's y'alls days been

TressaCalzone: lmao I should invest in a sports bra

TheFinalPrim: PERISH

PhiliOs: so the lesson to take from this is to never accept oreos from therion

PhiliOs: or tressa just to be safe

TheFinalPrim: ophilia were u lurking

PhiliOs: yes do you think I have better things to do

TheFinalPrim: guess not lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> endigns kinda weak but ahuvuheujsdksk


	9. Science

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> its official folks!! im bad at writing,

Wozwald: baby,

Wozwald: youknow that i baby,

Wozwald: i wanna be baby

TressaCalzone: I’m already baby,

Windy: what about widowmaker

TressaCalzone: Ima ready widowmaker

Windy: ill be bastion

TressaCalzone: newf bastion

Windy: youre right so winston

TressaCalzone: i wannabe winston

Windy: i guess ill be genji

TressaCalzone: im already gay

Windy: awww

AlbsoluteUnit: for a sec I thought u were talking to me @Wozwald

Wozwald: ily but sometimes baby is just the lyrics of a song.

AbsoluteUnit: I cant believe therion is choosing songs over his bf :/ that's kinda cringe

Wozwald: my own boyfriend called me cringe.. cant have shit in Detroit

TheFinalPrim: oh no divorce ):

TheFinalPrim: and I thought u 2 would grow old together ): ): ):

TrueBlue: so who gets the feet pics in the divorce 

Wozwald:  **_WHAT_ **

AbsoluteUnit: I hate everything about that sentence but the thing I like least is the implication one of my partners has feet pics. Like

Windy: hey so

Windy: u remember when I

AbsoluteUnit: no?? Wtf are y talki

AbsoluteUnit: no

Wozwald: AGAIN,  **_WHAT_ **

Windy: so like. Remember when I was talkign about uh. Setting something up…

AbsoluteUnit:  _ i thought you were joking zeph _

Windy: a little… but

AbsoluteUnit:  _ Zeph I love you and I should have Idk asked for clarification or something _

AbsoluteUnit:  _ so please understand I am not angry with you I am just _

AbsoluteUnit: p r o c e s s i n g

AlfOnTheShalf: the fact that you have SOLD FEET PICS

Windy: yeah that's it I think.

AbsoluteUnit: like I said b4 I love u but we should talk but first I will lie down because

AbsoluteUnit: feet pics.

Wozwald: anyway @TheFinalPrim help me sell gamer girl bathwater

TheFinalPrim: no

Wozwald: fair enough

PhiliOs: I'll help

Wozwald: what

PhiliOs: but I'll sell gamer girl holy water instead 

Wozwald: W H A T

Ali: hey yall how's it goin

Ali: GAMER GIRL HOLY WATER????

Kitty: thos is why I dont use this fucking chat

TressaCalzone: hey… lemme in on this…

Wozwald: sure ok I

Wozwald: tbh I didnt think I'd get this far but ok

TakeMeToChurc: Phili w h y

PhiliOs: it's not a sin

TakeMeToChurc: I mean it isnt but W H Y

PhiliOs: idk lol ¯\\_ (ツ)_/¯

TressaCalzone: ok so I have a plan

TressaCalzone: so it does involve lying and disguises so it might b a sin but who cares at this point

TressaCalzone: so ok

Windy: also it wasn't a sex thing. Just getting g that out there

AbsoluteUnit: wtf was it then???

TressaCalzone: DONT INTERRUPT ME

AbsoluteUnit: I'm so sorry tressa but I need to know why my boyfriend had feet pics of not for sex money

TressaCalzone: UGGGH FINE

TressaCalzone: I'll write my damn plan later >:(

AbsoluteUnit: so we pl h why. 

Windy: how did u fruck up that. Bad on my name

Wozwald: fruck

AbsoluteUnit: fruck but also a n s w e r. T h e.  **Q u e s t i o n** .  **Z e p h** .

Windy: science

AbsoluteUnit: what

Windy: they were doing a paid study on foot fungus and they needed health feet to compare!! So I sent them pics!!

AbsoluteUnit: I

AbsoluteUnit: what

Wozwald: so u took a look at this and said

Wozwald: you know what this scientific endeavor needs? My toes!

Windy: p much yeah

AbsoluteUnit: was it.. was it legit tho. Like was it?

Windy: yeah the school verified it and everything so I sent pics

AbsoluteUnit: I love you but. I need to lay down.

AbsoluteUnit: for like. A few days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw no shame on anyone who sells feet pics tbh... just the idea of splitting feet pics in a divorce is funnee 2 me. also i stg if i forget to continue gamer girl holy water i


	10. SNAPCUBE TIME BABEY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fuckin. watch snapcube. good shit

Windy: kinda fucks w me that 2k2k isnt 2020… its 202000

TheFinalPrim: yknow… 4000 could b 2k2k. Bc its 2000+2000

AbsuteUnit: more likely 2000*2000, because of the way its Spaced. Which is 4000000

Wozwald: did u do that on ur head. Also it could be 2000^2000. Who gives a shit

Windy: PLEASE NO MORE MATH I CANT

TrueBlue: it could honestly be anything if u take k as a variable

Windy: no,  _ stop _

Kitty: tbh i kinda hate fruit based pies

AbsoluteUnit: What kinda pies do u like then???? What the hell?

Kitty: like fucking… custard pies, pumkin pie. 

Kitty: yknow. That shit

Wozwald: so like cream pies?

Kitty: exactly!

Kitty: .

Kitty: wait

Wozwald: ahaha  _ gottem _

AbsoluteUnit: therion 

Wozwald: yea

AbsoluteUnit: I understand its prob like. Echolalia or smthn and usually I wouldnt mind but

AbsoluteUnit: can u pls stop saying penis bongos… pls

Wozwald: hhfhfhfh I'll try. My brain decided that that's the only train of thot right now

Wozwald: cyrus said it and it fucking infected me

Kitty: cyrus said w h a t

Wozwald: oh smtms cyrus had like something on his mind a bunch

Wozwald: and then he says it without thinking

Wozwald: this time it was penis bongos

TheFinalPrim: I. wish he didnt. Say that.

Wozwald: I've been saying it out loud once every few minutes :^( 

Wozwald: anything else to latch onto.

Wozwald: pls I'll take anything

TrueBlue: never gonna give u up by rip Assley

TressaCalzone: our house… in the middle of our house

Ali: I've come to make an announcement. Jusy the whole thing

Wozwald: all terrible. Thank u

Kitty: (tilted towers)

Wozwald: oh yeah I want to memorize that bit

AbsoluteUnit: oh god

Windy: rember when. He memorized the whole announcement bit

AbsoluteUnit: oh shit is it gonna b welcome to tilted towers or gamer pas

Wozwald: B O T H

Wozwald: WELCOME TO TILTED TOWERS. ALLOW ME TO INTERDUCE MYSELF. MY NAME IS MEMPHIS TENESSEE. AND IM PART LIZARD. NICE TO- YOROSHIKU ONEGAISHIMASU, AS THEY SAY IN NIPPON. 

Wozwald: IM NOT DOINF THE REST BUT

AbsoluteUnit: how the fuck did you get the japanese correct what the fuck

Wozwald: WELCOME TO MY HOUSE. AS YOU CAN SEE IVE KNOCKED OVER MANY CHAIRS BECAUSE I GET SO TILTED AT THE TOWERS.

TressaCalzone: this isnt really tilted or a tower

AbsoluteUnit: NO, DONT

Wozwald: YESSS

Wozwald: WELL YOU SEE, ITS A GAMER PAD. NOT MANY GIRLS COME HERE BECAUSE I GET FRIENDZONED SO FREQUENTLY. BUT THATS OK

TressaCalzone: I'd like to be in the friendzone. I'd like friends!

Wozwald: ITS NOT AS PLEASANT AD YOUD THINK. THEY DONT TREAT YOU LIKE A FRIED. THEY TREAT YOU LIKE AN ITEM. SOMETIMES I WISH I COULD BE MORE THAN JUST AN ACESSORTY TO THESE WOMEN. BUT UNFORTUNATELY, AS A GAMER I DONT GET RESPECT.

TressaCalzone: WELL IM NOT A GAMER, MAYBE THEYLL RESPECR ME

Windy: FOR THE LOVE OF

Wozwald:  **_THAT JUST MAKES YOU A BETA CUCK, THATS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOU AND I SILVER- IM AN ALPHA GAMER. ANYWAY, WHERE WE DROPPING BOYS? THESE ARE ALL THE NEW MAPS THEY ADDED, AND THATS A NEWSPAPER_ **

AbsoluteUnit: ARE YOU LISTENING TO IT?? OH MY GODS

TheFinalPrim: have you ever actually interacted with a woman in your life mephiles?

Wozwald: THAT DOESNT MATTER, ANYWAY XHEXK OUR THIS COOL GEM I GOT ON EBAY FOR 7 DOLLARS

Ali: oh yeah didnt the destroy tilted towers

Wozwald: oh damn they did

Wozwald: bring back tilted towers 2k2k

AbsoluteUnit: YOU DONT PLAY FORTNITE

Windy: show of hands who plays fortnite

Kitty: no one.

TrueBlue: ...actually

-AbsoluteUnit kicked TrueBlue-

AbsoluteUnit: fuck you fuck you fuck uou

Windy: NO MORE MAYH FUCKS SAKE

TheFinalPrim: fucka you 

-TheFinalPrim added TrueBlue-

TrueBlue: penis

Kitty: riveting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw the creampie thing is an actual joke i made to a friend... thats basically what we said to eachother vjbfdklsnksc. anyway apple pie and snapcube are both is good. also i fucking, F I N A L L Y got rid of penis bongos. i hated that my brain decided to stick on that


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> added some characters :) i need to finish octopath :) :) i technicly dont know shit abt them but its ok :) :) :)

Bastard Squad

TheFinalPrim: mash potato mash potato :)

TressaCalzone: potato potato potato :)

TrueBlue: buttery! Mashh!!! Potato

AbsoluteUnit: yalll… okay??

TheFinalPrim: mash potato :)

Wozwald: prim cna i… mash paotota

TheFinalPrim: yeas :)

Kitty: tbh its weird to see u use that many emoticons

TheFinalPrim: mash potato resippy :)

Kitty: what

TheFinalPrim: ms haanit have us a mssh potato resippy :) it's good :)

Wozwald: am here

TheFinalPrim: am here

TheFinalPrim: let yourself in :D 

TressaCalzone: Potato Potoato Potato :D

TrueBlue: WHAT THE FUCK THERION WHY

TheFinalPrim: therions hair looks like mash potato :)

TrueBlue: WHY THE FUCK DID HE COME THRU THE WINDOW

TheFinalPrim: door was locked

TrueBlue: SO WAS THE WINDOW

Ali: hey I just realized

TressaCalzone: mash potato ;b

Ali: we hang out at each others houses a bunch

Windy: a lot of us r in relationships

Ali: yeah so am I but mercedes and I mostly go on dates

Ali: we do hang out but like… not really at each others houses

Windy: 1. @VroomVroom glad u found someone! U 2 ali. And 2 are none of us single

AbsoluteUnit: kaia and ria arent looking atm

Wozwald: oh fuck we forgot to add them holy shit

Wozwald: one sec oh fuck

-Wozwald added ChimkenMommy, Roads, Babie, and BEHOLD-

Wozwald: hdiqbdis ik zb sorry about not adding you all

Roads: I forgive you.

Babie: u forgot about me :(((((((

BEHOLD: HOW FEW FUCKS I GIVE

TrueBlue: hdoanf bcci isn

TrueBlue: that actually made me laugh

ChimkenMommy: https://mariogolf.info/post/191000688321/ollybollywolly-annoying-furry-the-song-made#notes

AbsoluteUnit: what the fuck

AbsoluteUnit: WHAT THE FJDIFBDUJSBSJS

AbsoluteUnit: XURSED CURSED CURSED

BEHOLD: HEY ALI SQUARE UP MOTHERFUCKER

Ali: WHAT

Ali: WHAT THE FUCK IS RHIS ABOUT

BEHOLD: YOU DONT REMEMBER SAYING THAT YOU HATING LEARNING??? SMH MY HEAD. DUMBASS

Ali: did you fucking backroad thru all of that??????

BEHOLD: yeas I wamnt the KN O W LE D G E

Roads: can I just say?

Roads: fuckin. Hate it here

Kitty: mood

AbsoluteUnit: IM GONNIGN TO CRY

Wozwald: why lol

AbsoluteUnit: CHICKEN… PUSSY

Wozwald: ok that's it

-Slowmode (6 Hours) is on-

Wozwald: hell is real

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> noelles name is just an excuse to start adding tma references into this shit tbh


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jus vibin...

Wozwald: cant believe I forgot

Wozwald: sleepover at my place

Wozwald: be there or be cishet

AbsoluteUnit: fucking… when

TheFinalPrim: hate note time dbc it always feels like there's bugs on me and I have to turn the light on to check and there never there but when they are it like a whole big ass spider

Wozwald: use ham

TheFinalPrim: how

Wozwald: eat

TheFinalPrim: will that solve my problem

Wozwald: no

TressaCalzone: listen to lemon demon. Fuck you

Wozwald: i use it to harass my gym partners

Wozwald: ask em of my musics ok and hit em with two trucks

TressaCalzone: having sex?

TrueBlue: my muscles, my muscles

Wozwald: involuntarily felx

Windy: @Wozwald whens the damn sleepover

Wozwald: uhh first day of spring break

Wozwald: does that work

AbsoluteUnit: yeap

Windy: ok sure

Ali: ye

TheFinalPrim: yes

TressaCalzone: yep

VroomVroom: yes it does

ChimkenMommy: yes

BEHOLD: Sure

Roads: yah

Kitty: i guess

PhiliOs: me and Lianna have church next morning, so we can come, but we will have to leave early

Wozwald: damn ull miss the orgy /:

PhiliOs:

PhiliOs: good.

Wozwald: HOW DID UOU SEND NOTBHING

PhiliOs: 

Babie: yOU FORGOT ABOUT ME


	13. ehhh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The clam b4 the strom...

Teachers Lounge

Oldberic: okay can someone, ANYONE

Oldberic: TELL ME WHOSE FUCKING CHICKEN THIS IS

CatGal: I would suspect that it is Kaia's, as she has talked about raising chickens before

DickInABook: oh, she's here for tutoring, so I could ask her now

Oldberic: thank you very much, cyrus

SantaWithAZ: are we not going to mention the swearing-

OdeToMe: nah

DickInABook: update: Kaia says it isn't hers. She raises bantam cochin, and says that this chicken looks like a silkier

Ogren: what is happening

Ogren: I go to the hospital for a month and come back to this

Ogren: a random chicken, loose in the school???

SantaWithAZ: lol u should've been here a week ago

SantaWithAZ: cyrus's son and his boyfriends got into a fight with cordelia ravus' butler

SantaWithAZ: and primrose fought cordelia

Ogren: I.

Ogren: what. 

OdeToMe: you could probably find a video if you looked hard enough.

DickInABook: yeah it's on youtube. Just look up boomer vs the gay agenda. It should be there 

Ogren: no. I'm not. Going to do that

Ogren: anyway. Are we doing the dinner meeting this week?

CatGal: yes, this Saturday, the first day of the spring break. If I remember correctly, Cyrus, you volunteered your house?

DickInABook: oh yes! I'll have everything set up by tomorrow, and then you all can come over.

SantaWithAZ: damn… chicken and poker… tomorrow will rule

\---

Clubs Chat

P.Azelhart: hey everyone! I was thinking I could ask about any club related plans you have for the break

L.Clement: nothing bc of @A.Greengrass

A.Greengrass: IM SORRY

T.Colzione: I made a list of peomts for art club over the break

Z.West: Im gonna come 2 the schokl to check on our plants lol

M.Benn: I've been compiling a list of recommended books to read

CORDELIA WANTS HER JUUL: i did basically the same thing as tress for my club 

Vapers Rights: we set up an online resource sheet for anyone dealing w ubsuppottive housholds. Or who just wanna try experimenting or w/e

Vapers Rights: i. Bad at spell but u get the picture

P.Azelhart: damn thats cool

P.Azelhart: good job therion I'm proud

Vapers Rights: uwu

P.Azelhart: little less proud

A.Greengrass: I made a list of good plants to try growing to start ur own garden

A.Greengrass: also eating the stock market

P.Azelhart: like… the concept of the stock market or… the physical building where its held

A.Greengrass: yeah

CORDELIA WANTS HER JUUL: so. Which one?

A.Greengrass: yeah

**Author's Note:**

> trans people: i am trans  
> society: ok  
> therion from octopath traveler: my name is therion  
> trans people: holy shit its therion from octopath traveler  
> therion from octopath traveler: my name is therion


End file.
